carelessWHISPER

2009-11-03T03:57:00.000+08:00

1st paper later in the avro. Pray for me.

fine&dandy

2009-10-30T04:49:00.000+08:00

contradict the title.

2009-10-29T04:35:00.005+08:00

yesterday, i was trying to fall aslp for 4hours. i just culdnt seem to stop my thoughts frm running circles in my head. I culdnt empty my head and i sure as hell culdnt fall aslp. If i cant again tngt, imma get myself some slping aid thing tt balota so kindly introduced to me. But are hormones, so q skeptical. But if the need arises aka i STILL cant zzz after this, i leave me no choice. Or i shld go google slping sounds and meditation and calming tactics. right abt now i'm desperate enuff to try anything i can my hands on. Slp has alwys been impt to me, albeit on par with food. But u get the idea. Ok if blogger eats this entry blood will b drawn (or was it shed). Ogays, bed time. I heart the font style used in nokia e71. *squeals*

2009-10-28T04:44:00.002+08:00

ohcrap. Just lost a post here too. Maybe all applications are not stable enough for mobile blogging. -poo.

In short: productive day. 3chaps done, 5 to go. My right hand has muscles. If u look closely enough, u can see 6-packs on each finger. Sexy.

2009-10-27T02:29:00.001+08:00

i think im slowly withdrawing from socialising. I feel so drained after each social event that all i want to do is lock my door and bask in the silence and emptiness. And i feel contented in my lonliness. Ohboy, what is happening to me. Another big event tmr. Today and tmr morning's me-time should help hold strong thru the night. Then back to recharge mode and i get to remove the fixated upward curve on my face. Yay.

2009-10-26T04:02:00.001+08:00

that's it. From now on mobile blogging will be done here. I still love you lj, but u work so much better with my redlove. just, suck with phones. *shrugs*

Shopping yest in the city. Ice skating later. What? Exams r coming? When? -denial.

2009-10-26T03:59:00.000+08:00

lj mobile sucks. Ate up 3 posts alr. Epic fail.

2009-09-29T15:45:00.002+08:00

Time to move. So long, blogspot. You've been good to me. But we all need some change in our lifes every so often. Like a cool breeze on your peppermint lips. Like a senic view off a glossy postcard.That's life.Embrace it. Accept it.Live it.

Hello Spring.

2009-09-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

It's getting warmer. The weather's heating up, slowly. Realised I havent been visiting this space in awhile. I guess there's nothing much I want to say. Ive been doing good, over here. Enjoying each and every day as it is. Sometimes, I cant help be agree, that the grass is greener on the other side. Wishing that Id never have to step foot back to where I came, from.

It's the school's term break, now. But still piled up to my neck with school work. Its like never ending. But I'm not complaining. WIll really dread the day I officially step out into the workforce. The political, backstabbing, two-faced, workforce. I guess it's just how life is, eh. There is always an end, to everything good and bad. We wish time will pass faster, we pray time will standstill. When will this ever stop?

I hope everybody's good back home. And I hope everybody lives, for the true meaning of life. And not just hope to change this and that about it. (:

2009-08-09T02:48:00.000+08:00

Hello friends back in singapore. I miss you.

you win.

2009-07-25T18:57:00.001+08:00

its like a competition. both wanna out-wit and out-last the other, thus eventually claiming the glory and what's rightfully theirs. I'm sorry. This is a game I do not want to take part in. I will gladly hand over the throphy.

2009-07-17T23:13:00.002+08:00

hello eh-vli-boh-dee! Moi has been busy with orientation this week. As well as enrolling for units and getting them validated(which I have yet to if only the chairman of the arts faculty would reply my email or answer my calls -.-) and allocating my timetable. So uni has begun. hmm.. somewhat. Early mornings for me these days. Which is such a chore, getting up, that is. You want to hide under your very warm and comfy quilt, but your alarm keeps ringing (I snooze it about 3 times before I actually open my eyes) and you need to WAKE UP. so ya. But all's good. Got my timetable already. cant say im happy with it. but got all of my priority1 cept for 1 mktg tut.

Today was excusion day to cottlesole and freo. *chants outingoutingouting* the beach was beautiful. amazing. breath taking. what a sight. I wanted to take off my clothes and jump into the ocean kind. But the extreme cold stopped me in my thoughts. lol. Freo was, as it is. Since i already went there before today.. nothing much. proven that ciserellas is much better den kailys. Wine with fresh oysters and fish and chips and interesting company... mmmm. =9 canNOT go wrong there. So me and nelly decided to not take the bus back.. instead we hung with a bunch of people and walked ard freo.. decided to head to town.. took the train.. then re-decided to go harbourtown. literally ran for the last yellow cat(free shuttle service around the city). harbourtown is like a mega huge factory outlet. (almost)good stuff at dirt cheap prices. me likeeey. but was soooo tired. ): luckily the nice ogl sent us home. It's good to know ppl staying around you... (or ppl who drives and actually has a car and is nice enough)

anws. i hope sch isnt gonna be that tough, this sem. would need to start looking for a job. start. sigh..

i am so proud of myself. i managed to survive out in the open without a jacket with just a sleeveless normal kind of top you would wear out in sg without shivering or feeling cold! muahah. for a while at least, in the day, under the scorching sun. /beams.

so tired. waiting for someone to decide to pop online. i wonder if my friends back in sg miss me............

2009-07-15T22:37:00.001+08:00

uhoh. i guess this means time to look for another blog skin. -.-

2009-07-15T00:08:00.000+08:00

And life's like that here in Perth(:

What does it feel like to be wronged?

2009-07-13T22:08:00.003+08:00

hate (lousy)technology. hate that msn keeps signing me in and out though I'm still perfectly 100% connected to the fucking internet. hate that this is just history repeating it's fucking self. hate that words can mean anything and everything without emotion. hate that i've been accused of something in the way I didnt fucking mean to say it. hate that I really dont know what to say this time. hate that people just believe their own assumptions even before clarifying. hate that I've only myfuckingself to blame. hate that I didnt want to see this coming. hate that I believed. hate that I hoped and wished for too much. hate that there is nothing i can fucking do. hate that i'm feeling like this. hate that i fucked things up. hatehatehatehatehate.

2009-07-10T20:04:00.003+08:00

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Cant help but wish that I was there
Back where I love to be

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her where I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's noone here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through..

week 1 in Perth

2009-07-08T01:22:00.004+08:00

"Baby, see how time flies." I've been living on my own, away from the nagging of the parents, away from the bustling of singapore, away from the hot and humid weather, away from 24hour prata shops, away from the love, away from friends. Being a responsible, independent, grown up. Doing my own laundry, cooking my own meals, living in my own room. Parts of this reality, actually, truely, really, feels awesome. (: I am still (desperately) trying to get use to the cold. Getting used to the fact that I (now) cannot sleep in my underwear, or walk around the house in it. Firstly, it is not my house, and secondly, I do not want to freeze my butt off. But I can safely say I have accustomed myself to the slow and steady pace of perthians. Since my previous lifestyle back in sg was the stone and sit and chill kind, not much effort was needed to convert to the lifestyle here. Less could be said for my dear friend and meals-mate, ryan. That poor boy can be seen walking up and down his lonesome flat, finding it close to impossible to sit still and do nothing, for a change. I, seem to have no issues in that area. Waking up everyday around noon-ish, accomplishing just one thing in the afternoon, while the sun (or lack of it) is still up, before dark takes over the sky around 5ishpm, having dinner, trying to keep warm, taking a long hot shower around 10ishpm, slacking in bed surfing the net, talking on msn, skyping, reconnecting msn, redailing on skype, and falling asleep at 2isham, latest. TADA. now that, is considered a day will spent.

Explored Northbridge aka chinatown, today. took the bus right outside my house, down to subiaco station, took a train to the city (3 stops away). walked to northbridge, walked around northbridge. had bubble tea (which i am fucking craving for right this moment), walked back to the city to visit the publib library. aparently they have many kinds of libraries and the one i went to before was the reference library. -.- walked up and down hay street and still cannot find the damn building, asked for directions.. finally found it, hidden in some corner. map was not useful at all. made my library card ( hehe((: ), borrowed a few books. You know you can borrow up to 12 books at a go (?!!?) so it was getting dark (yes, already.) and we decided to take a bus back to crawley. it started to, mist, then drizzle, and more drizzle. the wind was blowing and blowing. it was.... c o l d. had broadway pizza for dinner. i t i s t h e b o m b. fucking delicious la. omg, damn yummy. i still have a slice in the fridge for brunch tmr.... *grins* okya. enough about food. many more places to go and see. Hope I get to go to fremantle soon... they say its prwee :D as usual, pictures will b up on fb. it might take awhile, fb can b quite fucked up at times and not let you upload pics. -.-

`miss you, A.

2009-07-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

If I had wings, I would fly and land next to You.

2009-07-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

Just like that, 1 week has passed. I dare say it was the scariest, most eventful, most emotional, most inspiring week, ever. The experience cannot, in any way, be bought. The emotional rollar coaster was inevidable. But I pulled through. With much encouragement, and uncountable prayers. Here I am, more or less settled, looking forward to an interesting year. I always wanted to go overseas and study, to get out of that small island we call home. And here I am, finally. And Ive got to admit, it does feel good. Like sense of achievement kind. I told myself to let nothing get in my way of reaching this dream, and that's what I did. The journey was tough. Sometimes it was really hard to stay on this path. The sweat and tears along the way, the worrys and let downs. They were all part of the journey, the learning process, if you may. I geuss one has to give up many things, to achieve one great thing. This isnt stepping out of my comfort zone, this, is taking one giganormous leap into the unknown. Some say I'm brave. Really? Am I?

I dont give a shit what people think, what they say. This is my life, I'mma live it the way I want. I'mma do whatever and be happy about it. So bite me. (:

To A: I miss you, and love you very much. Does forever sound good enough for you?

2009-07-04T16:54:00.001+08:00

"..contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."

painted clear blue sky.

2009-07-02T21:42:00.004+08:00

my hands are always cold and frozen. like cannot feel kind. like purple nails and cold to the bones. tsk. day 3 in perth. havent gotten used to the weather. but the slow pace of life is starting to sink in. dropping my expectations of fast and efficient services. taking a back seat and being polite and friendly towards strangers. walking at a much slower pace. wearing way too many layers. eating huge-portioned meals. packing my own groceries in plastic bags. clearing my rubbish after meals. watching out for traffic before jay-walking across streets. allowing darkness to consume the sky at 5ishpm everyday. walking down empty streets. meeting new people. as ryan would say, 'extended network'.

had vietnamese for lunch today at chinatown. then off to bed shopping at citywest(?). then back to the city, murray st, mayers to look for bed linens and stuff. the city is like toa payoh central, but with aircon. headed back to crawley, saw ryan's apartment. its facing swan lake, a pretty view. cozy place.. took a walk down the jetty. there was a cafe called JoJo's. -.- I was THIS CLOSE to a webbed-feet duck/bird. it let me take its picture. (: so we walked ard our neighbourhood. walk and walk. walked to my house from his. then to broadway fair, then down summore to uwa. to the famous clock tower. back down the campus. walked and walked to find the new business block. finally found it wayyyyyy at the other end. it was alr dark by then... love my harry potter school. :D so back to broadway fair for kabab dinner. it was fucking freezing omg! power walked home. found out lynette stays beside me. -.- like direct neighbour kind. apparently nedlands=crawley. hmm.. eventful day, i would say. im pleased. (but not so much with the cold.) pictures will b up on fb, soon enough.

f o r e i g n l a n d

2009-06-30T20:52:00.003+08:00

Dont like change. I'm timid and scared. Dont want to get out of my comfort zone. Want to stay where I feel most at home. I'm stubborn and pessimistic. So bite me.

When you face uncertainty head on. You are asking for it. Aint gon treat you well. It'll strike full force, and there's nothing you can do about it. I so want to run back into safe arms. Cuz this, is by far the scariest thing I've ever done. Initial jitters didnt prepare me for this one bit. Its like jumping off a cliff, head first. When before the jump you feel the adreneline pumping. But the fall feels like foreverness, and your breath comes short, you hesitate, you regret. But its too late. You know when you said the degree didnt matter, well, i'm seeing myself wanting to believe you right now. But its too late. I miss your warm breath against my skin. Though while I was floating on fluffy cotton balls, all I wanted was to bask in the moment with you. I guess it wouldnt seem half as bad, if you were here. It's so cold and gloomy. Darkness consumes everything way before it should. I guess I'm a lil homesick (already). home=where you are.

2009-06-25T21:50:00.003+08:00

Today, I dont knw exactly what's wrong with me. ive got all these pent up anger inside, just waiting for something to tick it off. And then. BOOOOOM. I'll light up like a fucking sparkler and fly out of this world. That doesnt sound liek a bad idea at all, eh. Need revelation, need to see the light, need peace of mind and heart, body and soul. Fuck I need to not feel this way, pronto. Its not helping that there are so many factors adding onto my ____. Me leaving for Perth, possibly losing the gf, new environment, 'friends' who are acually damn bitches, having a million things to do b4 tuesday, needing/wanting to go out, where has everybody gone? So 20 thoughts run through this brain every second. I cannot entertain them all at once, can I. I cannot remember what they are cuz in the next second, I've got another 20 to deal with. Urgh. Life sucks. FML.

(Perfect)ion.

2009-06-24T03:10:00.005+08:00

The hours tick by, the minutes zoom pass so extremely fast. I need time to slow down. Just for these few days. Just tick slowly.. move at a crawling pace. Its so hard to look into your eyes and see the fear and intense sorrow. The thought of waking up one day and finding that I mean no more to you than a random friend who has gone overseas. To decide that you no longer need to love me. But I guess that is all part and parcel of falling into this bottomless pit. I guess that is what you sign up for when you yourself decide to take that step of faith into the unknown. out of your comfort circle. You have to risk everything, in order to want to be happy (enough). I look up to those few brave souls. But sometimes, being brave doesnt pay, at all. Sometimes, hiding in that shell, away from danger and harm. away from the world, might seem like the better solution. might.

I hear the sound of your breathing, and I smile to myself. I'm so lucky to have found you. It feels so right, though we both know in many ways how wrong it actually is. In your embrace, the world seem to fade away. All worries disappear, nothing else matter anymore. In your embrace, I'm my own person. No facade, no fronts. In your embrace, I feel like the most special girl in the whole world. In your embrace is where I wanna stay for a long long time. If you look into my eyes baby, you'll see that everything will be alright, its gon be ok. If you hold my hands, you'll feel safe. If you hug me you will feel secure. If all else fails, i'll just be 4 hours away. Waiting, hoping, loving (you).

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

2009-06-22T20:20:00.001+08:00

Shoelaces untied

You can dry your eyes.

2009-06-18T15:37:00.002+08:00

I've learnt the hard way, that I cannot clap for 2, I cannot work this for you.

I'm losing you, dear friend. And it's getting me all emotional.

uh fuck.

2009-06-12T12:19:00.004+08:00

Just one of those mornings. Wake up feeling like. shit. So blasting dance-y music and allowing my body to receive the beats that is intended to consume me, is, the only hope. Feeling Rihanna with 'So silly boy get out my face (my face) Why do you like the way regrets taste? So silly boy get out my hair my hair(get outta here) No, I don't want you no more (get outta here)' and going gaga with 'I'm a big girl, You're a big boy now'. So wanna pull a Kelly Clarkson "Already gone.... already gone..we were always meant to say goodbye..'

NOT.ENOUGH.

Day14.

2009-06-11T15:17:00.004+08:00

So my favourite place to be is on the left with my special on the right. For once leverage dont widen the difference. And all superficial doesnt matter. Gentle touch overcast by the intense. Adreneline stimulates to the bone. No more staring into the horizon, senses awaken.

Alas, for all fairytales come to an end. All perfect beauty has its numbers. All rainbows disappear; sun&moon take turns to shine upon. Then I wish we were vampires, to live an eternal life. Where distance means nothing. Time is of no importance. Beauty, everlasting. Would eternity, be too short a period, still?

2 words I need you to say;
I'll stay.

I kissed a girl, and I liked it.

2009-06-09T12:56:00.003+08:00

I've stopped counting down already. Cuz it doesnt have the same effect like it did before. Cuz it hurts (so)bad, instead. Cuz the minutes tick by and im wishing it did, but in the opposite direction. Cuz its scary to think of what will be. Cuz the distance would take a toll, its not funny anymore.

My bit of fairytale, my lil piece of heaven. She said, 'So when was the last time you were really happy?' I said I didnt know. I know now. I know exectly when where and how.

Comparisons are easily done when you've had a taste of perfection.

The silent dodger;

2009-06-07T18:34:00.002+08:00

Your conscious mind wants to run; wild&free.

But your subconscious, silently screams; stay.

Take my hand,

And with fingers intertwined; we'll rule the world.

2009-06-05T11:47:00.003+08:00

Hold me close, your just too far

Or I can bring you in, so you're right up with the stars

Hold you closer and don’t let go

I need to know how you feel too

So hold me closer and don’t let go

Im falling so please just don’t let go

2009-06-04T20:37:00.002+08:00

AnAn's class yesterday is the cause of me being (almost)paralysed. Not being able to "bend over" is not funny at all. My back hurts... :( Like fuck. sighh.

So I finally caught (most of the episodes of)Gossip Girl season 2. It is the bomb. I soooooo love GG. :)))))) The story line was so good. So meaningful. I almost teared.. Which reminds me.. I never had the chance to watch season 6 of OTH. hmm.... anybody has it?

So girl. What's it gon be?

2009-06-04T01:52:00.001+08:00

urgh just one of those nights everybody please fuck off.

I've got this (I think).

2009-06-03T12:29:00.005+08:00

Cuz maybe some stars you just cant reach, no matter how hard you try. They are there to light up your night, for you to admire and look at. A pity that's how far it can go. That's all that'll ever come out of it. I've learnt that good things do come your way, every so often. I grasped hold of it, once before. That didnt turn out quite so well. So maybe this time, I'd watch it pass me by instead. Rather then get myself into the whole hallabaloo of things(again).

Climb mountains, swim oceans eh. Does driving across singapore count as one?

Who's that girl who's giving away her chances? Who's letting someone else pen down her life. Who's that girl who's waving the white flag? Cuz that girl, doesnt sound a bit like you, Jo.

Hello June,

2009-06-01T22:26:00.003+08:00

It never rains, always pours. Was busy for 3 consecetive days some time last week. Then, these few days, been staying home.. surfing the net, watching ellen, fb-ing. No plans at all. And everybody is either in sch, having exams, or at work, or already have plans. Urgh. Den so tired of asking ppl out, I'd just stay home. And walk my dog.

Luckily Ellen has been keeping me company and making me laugh on youtube. She's the funniest. She's the best. lol.

It's only been a few hours, but I think I miss you already. You facinate me.

2009-05-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

Baby, &that's how I roll.

2009-05-29T15:35:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's comeback at PLAY was good. All in all, the place is more spacious and the coloured lights at the extended platform is pleasant to the eyes. Me likey wad they did to the place. Ah yes, and the familiar faces. It was like I never left. Could say they did step it up a lil in their songs. But dude, the transitions r still as bad, if not worst. and the vocalist aka DJ's friend. haha. Totally cannot make it. ahwells. You win some, you lose some.

Chalet to celebrate Heather's bday the day before. Honey glazed chicken wings rock!!! Finished many bottles of wine. Red, white, ice.... oh and beer. And I had work the nx day, (was)my last day at work actually.

Been surviving on minimal hours of sleep these days. Eyebags and lousy complexion to act as proof.

Woke up at 6 plus this morning, drove back home from ttsh, continued sleeping, got woken up by a call. Have to pick the mother from Changi later, den off to ttsh again.

I didnt eat any proper meal today. A hungry girl is a fucking cb pissy/moody girl. I'm craving for ba chang and Nasi Brayni. I shall drive out and buy some.

/edit
bought some. ((((:

Right beside a guiding light.

2009-05-26T23:25:00.005+08:00

So you search and you find
You anticipate and wait
But always when you think its time to give up
always when youve stop hoping
it happens, its there, it comes back
always at the end.
So I will not hope, I will not wait
I will walk away
and i'll meet you there
at the end of the sidewalk
in the center of the crossroads.

"Happiness, is being at peace with yourself on the inside." -me.

2009-05-25T22:37:00.002+08:00

Way too many things going on. n e e d s p a c e. n e e d t o b r e a t h e.

Can you pls shut up. Just. stop.

2 more, 29 left

2009-05-24T22:55:00.003+08:00

3 days haitus.
3 days totaling up to less than 13 hours of sleep.
3 days of weathering the trecherous sg climate.
3 days of ppl watching.
3 days. BECAUSE.

Nagging from the mother nv ceases.
Nut is back :)))
Way too much puffing.
feeling hungry now cuz it's supper time. :(
Winnie the pooh box of lovin'. Uh huh.

Twit me. /duckyjo

5 left, 32 more.

2009-05-21T23:11:00.006+08:00

I find myself stumped, fingertips barely grazing the letterkeys. My body is poised, my breathing is shallow, but all the action is happening inside this head of mine. I find myself questioning and reasoning. Why do I find it so hard, nowadays, to genuinely express myself? Not here at least. I find myself pondering about the possible consequences of jaggered words. I find myself retreating into my little bubble.

Honesty kills. ohshit.

How would you like it if your future was written with an erasable marker. Would you go over it with a permanent one, would you take extra care in securing it, or would you erase everything altogether? The third sounds extremely tempting.

6 left, 33 more.

2009-05-20T23:03:00.004+08:00

"Bravery is making it on your own. Strength, is what I need now to be brave."

So the count down begins. The end of something always signifies the beginning of something else. Sometimes I wonder, we all live by quotes, sayings, life lessons. But they are mere words that come out from the mouths of normal human beings, like you and me. So what sets them apart from our daily blabbery? What makes them good to use over time? And what is it in these life quotes, that acts as a becon of light in our personal situations? So the thoughts are endless, the assumptions, countless. And being human, like we all are, we dont give 2 fucks about it and just carry on with life. Plain and simple as that. (Even this, is a saying, I suppose.)

Mediacorp should so employ me as a writer for one of their many mag titles. I promise to increase my vocab and use more flamboyant and bombastic words. (ok so I checked dictionary.com for the spelling to flamboyant. I bet all writers have prof dictionaries/thesaurus somewhere within their grasp. tsk.) YES! I got 'thesaurus' correct. *beams*

Acherly, I've much to say. But the words all seem to be stuck somewhere in between my braincells. All the expressive details just frozen in place. hmm.. Aye, not to worry, they will explode out when storage has gone over the limit. Machum mediacorp's pathetic very-little-bite email.

OHOH. Pls purchase a copy of this week's 8Days! Its the huge A3-sized issue. This week's feature story is on Paranakans. Their lifestyle, their foooooooood glorious fooooooood, their flamboyant language and more. Go get a copy n read to find out more. Man, talking about food, I'm hungry. ): Also, if you are free, come down to Plaza Singapura's Open Plaza (Empty space in front of PS) this fri/sat/sun and attend Mediacorp's The Big Idea 2009. A huge, annual, colabo event between 8Days and i-weekly magazine. Come check out the fun, games, food, celebs and ME. The last would be slaughting it out at the subs booth. So be a doll and come say hi k.

Someone please loan me time, a DSLR, and a car. I will be the happiest, most carefree girl;ever.

You said there's tons of fish in the water.

So the water I will test.

Just great.

2009-05-19T23:00:00.003+08:00

I cant believe it. I missed the call interview from my college principal. TWICE. Both times after actually arranging and agreeing upon that specific time. Good job Jo, now you are officially blacklisted. Hurh. But i managed to get my agent to beg them to give me another chance at the interview. So, if i miss it, again, that's it for me. End of story. Sleep under the bridge with the swans.

Yesterday, I slept so much and yet still felt so tired this morning. But i was so busy at work, before i knew it, i was walking out of the place heading home alr. So maybe i like being busy at work. hmm.. Gotta remember to...

Still pissed at myself for missing that call. Urgh.

I'm naked I'm numb I'm stupid I'm staying

2009-05-17T23:24:00.004+08:00

I resisted the temptation of purchasing a 45bucks cropped faux leather jacket. But spent almost twice the amount on other random stuff. So much for taming the impulse-shopperholic in me. They should have wireless everywhere so I can twit my thoughts instead of just saving them in my fone which is overly retarded and I did not just type that. Today's just one of those random days where I have the urge to just blog. Need to release those haunting thoughts that keep replaying themselves in my head. We were strangers even then, but now, its like we roam in different relms. And when our relms do intercept, we sense each other's presence, and nothing more. It's sad, really. That people, life, has to complicate things. Another story, a new evidence, to add on to the pile on the shelf. Sometimes I wish I could look at myself from a third person's point of view. Follow myself aroung for a day. Sit beside me when I'm with friends. Observe me, when I'm alone. I reckon I'd get a better understanding of why/how people actually perceive me to be in that light. Whether those words used to describe me actually fit. I'm not like that. If given a chance, wouldnt you wanna see yourself, from the outside too? 2 more weeks til I am a jobless girl. 1mth1week til I experience life in a whole new continent. I am feeling numb. I cried while watching Monsters Inc on tv just now. When Sulley had to get Boo back into her door and when Boo thought he was playing with her but when she opened the closet door the special place had disappeared and when Sulley had to shred the door to pieces and Mikey picked up the only splinter left of the door and gave it to Sulley and that he kept the picture that Boo drew for him, scotchtaped it at the back of his notes-board tgt with the door splinter. Cried like a baby. omg. I think I'm the only person who cries while watching cartoons. Oh I cry while reading books too. I think I am not making sense at all. Sentences that dont even link up. hurh. I love music. I love appreciating photography/pictures. I love reading meaningful statements. I miss (being in/giving) love. (Just so to make things clear to all you insecure and sensitive gfs/exgfs of friends, or mine. This does not call for a warning of an epidemic. Your gfs are safe. I do not/will not touch them. Me wanting/missing love does not affect them at all. I will not/do not want to get back with them (exes) I do not want to/will not get tgt with them (frens). Some things, you just got to lay out in broad daylight and have neon signs point at them thus making it visible even from space. Unspoken words and assumptions just wont do. Sigh. But I'm ________, that it has to come down to this, even. I'm tired, I'm going to bed. They say fight for what you want. They say let it go, if its yours, its yours. My question is, who, exactly, are they?

2009-05-14T00:13:00.004+08:00

Goodnight, world. (:

So I said I hated you.

2009-05-12T23:34:00.003+08:00

Days like this, I'm so glad to have heaps of stuff to clear at work. Look forward to waking up early tmr, sit in front of my com, screen emails, stare at my cluttered table and stress over meeting datelines. At least for 8.5 hours I dont have to think about anything else. Before and thereafter, I just want to stuff my ears with blasting music and ask my brain to shut the hell up.

2009-05-11T12:45:00.001+08:00

food;&pretenders.

2009-05-10T23:53:00.004+08:00

Yesterday saw me crossing the causeway, inching my car ever so closely behind the one infront of me. Honking loudly at dumbass malaysian (and singaorean) drivers. Making a wrong turn and getting lost for a good 5 mins in Johor, and trusting my girl-instincts to find a U-turn to get me back on track. Fact #1, ALL singaporean drivers go havoc while driving in Malaysia, we let lose and let our inner animal driver take over.

Too much yummy + cheap malaysian food = MAJOR food poisoning. ))):

Woke up this morning to the worst feeling ever. Someone pulling my stomach apart. Running to the toilet a good couple of times. Have you ever pee-ed shit?! From the arse, of cuz. OMG. I couldnt stand straight, I was breaking out in cold sweat. I was a mess. Curled up like a ball, clenching my stomach, and just cried.

So obviously didnt die in the end. Doc gave me playdoh-like pills. Bright blue and yellow ones. Having to take them on a hourly basis is no fucking joke.

Let me just side track and talk about something totally irrelevent to the above. I guess over time. you truely knw who your real friends are. Not those who claim to be, but when it comes down to doing the deed, they retreat. Not those who say they got your back, but are the first ones to make a run for it. And definately, not those who offer help, but due to unforseen circumstances, pick the latter over their initial responsbility. Ive experienced my fair share of disappointments, some, I'll have to admit, I nv thought would fit into this catergory. Ahhh, but surprises are what makes life interesting eh. Just dont expect anything from that person anymore, cuz you knw that you'll only be greeted with more disappointment.Hurh. I guess I really meet and mix with a whole lot of 'wrong people'.

But the handful, I deeply treasure, and love you guys to bits. Evidently so tired of those who call themselves friends but dont knw me at all. So tired of those who say they'll help, encourage you to put your trust in them, just so they can let you down. Those who pick partners over friends, I dispise you. In my opinion, partners and friends, are mutually exclusive. They are independent entities. You do not let one down, because the other carries more importance.

XX says:
i loove girls
buttt itss tooo much drama

tlw

2009-05-08T14:31:00.002+08:00

Alice finds women facinating, and looks at beautiful men like art.
Bette questions why Tina didnt ask if she wanted to carry their second child.
Max always had a soft spot for Jenny.
Nikki is just a selfish lonely wannabe, behind that superstar facade.
Helana attracts people, with her delicatness.
Shane burned down her hair salon business in the skate shop.
Tina's first was her elder sister.

Beautiful(disaster)

2009-05-06T23:56:00.002+08:00

Perfection in Chaos.

2009-05-03T12:44:00.003+08:00

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

See you on the other side.

2009-05-01T23:03:00.006+08:00

When I decide to leave. I dont look back, I dont regret.

Some things are just beyond my control. Some people, beyond my reach. Change is the only constant. You either ride the wave, or let it swallow you whole. I've been sucked in by the current way too many times to know that being brave doesnt pay. Submission wont do no good. Accpeting fate, might just ruin your destiny. We cannot comprehend the reason why things happen, only assume. And those assumptions would lure us to our grave. I say dust yourself off the ground, wipe that pitiful look off your face, throw out all reasoning in your head and stride on into the horizon. As for me, I'm packing, and leaving behind what got me out of this in the first place. Goodbye pillar of strength, you were once strong enough for me.

2009-04-29T22:50:00.002+08:00

Fly with me, Supergirl.

2009-04-28T23:54:00.005+08:00

This space is getting a tad too public, dont you reckon? mmm.

I've been feeling so lazy. Have yet to upload/edit pictures. Havent even unpacked from my trip yet!! When I went back to work on monday, totally didnt feel like the weekend refreshed me at all. Didnt even feel like I left for the sunny sunny island. bleah.

I just want to thank those of you lovelies who texted/fb me birthday wishes. Totally made my day ((: And to all those who FORGOT.... Yours truely is 21 already la. feel so damn old can. Then again, better late then never. -folds arms and taps foot- PLUS, I'm a forgiving person who can be easily contented. SO, those of you... you knw what to do huh. -looks at watch- Come on alr, I'm not getting any younger, literally!

ok, I think I've gone abit ku-ku. Blame it on the post vacation blues and withdrawal symptoms from an over dose of lepak-ing.

OK, that's it. I've decided that I want to read minds. Wouldnt you love to converse with me then? Cuz, you wouldnt even have to! We'd be staring at each other all day long. hurh. So Prof X in X-men pls.

k nights ~~cruel~~ world.

2009-04-27T22:37:00.003+08:00

I know I'm different. I'm a dreamer, I'm a believer. I dont fit well amongst those, especially, not here. Tonight, I'm overwhelmed with negative emotions. Feelings of angst, irritation, frustration, pissy-moody. My trip was a taste of heaven. And it seemed like I had just woken up from the best dream ever, when I opened my eyes and all the worries and troubles of reality just kept pourning down on me. I am tired of pretending, of false hope and empty anticipation. I am drained from trying to live up to being other peoples' Jo. I care no more, about senseless gossip and false testimonials. If you judge, then prepare to be judged. I want no part in this vicious food-chain.

imu,

2009-04-27T22:21:00.001+08:00

2009-04-27T22:17:00.001+08:00

xoxo.

2009-04-22T21:29:00.001+08:00

Be(lie)ve.

Natures' twelves.

2009-04-21T21:57:00.004+08:00

@~`------

Like its beauty making up for its torns. So does this, gesture the flawless facade of an ugly beneath. Today, I will admire its perfection, and forget its piercing torns into my flesh. Tomorrow, pray tomorrow, its sweet fragrance would unmercifully engulf the rest.

:)

2009-04-20T21:33:00.003+08:00

It came, it went. Some things in life just arent yours to keep. I never saw it coming, but believe me, I felt the emptiness when it left. Like snowflakes on your window pane, there when you wake, yet its beauty instantly vanishes at first light. Some people anticipate it every new morning. I, wouldnt count on that. Others find faux alternatives, same difference. My call? Remove all signs of 'ever been'. Learn to 'get go'. And live only, for your happiness. See, much better already.

Unspoken words.

2009-04-20T14:13:00.001+08:00

Would somebody hold my hand?

I'm feeling quite vulnarable right now.

hello, mikey.

2009-04-19T13:17:00.003+08:00

For the first time yesterday, I was smashed. I will never ever drink so much ever again. Jagarbombs and champange do not hang well with each other. Continuous vomitting is extremely exhausting. Not being able to recall the events of last night is no joke. Hangover is a bitch. I think some random passer by put a sweet in my mouth.

yet, all that cannot compare with..

My happy pill(:

2009-04-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

Thyloves.

When 4 girly girls come together, this is what you'll get. Bimbotic bright pink housefly shades with dangling discoball-like, earring-lookalike thingys hanging from the sides.

I wish I was there beside you, love.

attracted to thy own funeral.

2009-04-15T21:57:00.005+08:00

In the night I hear 'em talk

The coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along the road

He lost his soul

To a woman so heartless

She fell, got up, and held the hand of a stranger. She put her weight on that temporal pillar, only to be thrown onto the icy cold ground, yet again. When will this naive, poor soul learn? By-passers stare with sympathetic eyes, they shake their heads and whisper in disapproving tones. She hears, but doesnt look up. Her head still hanging, too numb to allow bodily instincts to take over. Maybe the next hand would be different, she lies to herself. Secretly thirsty for some hope. Some form of optimism. Trying too hard to push the painful piercing of reality out of her head. That this is the best she'll ever get out of love/life/lies.

She asked, "So, are you game for it?"

Slow down,

2009-04-14T15:14:00.003+08:00

This night's a perfect shade of...

False Alarm.

2009-04-12T23:13:00.003+08:00

The Devil Wears Prada is brilliant.
I will watch it 10 times over and it will still be brilliant.

Woke up with the sun in my face. But for the first time, it felt good. Somebody tampered with the fire alarm, dammit. Ahwells, I guess I read the signs all wrong, too.

"Feeling, is a solitary emotion.."

2009-04-09T21:12:00.003+08:00

4 days of non-work, followed by 2 working days, followed by another 4 ho-li-daysss. :)) Tues saw me, kaly, nic and jas heading down to blackberry bar for our dear Joo's 21st. Nice, cozy small place.. enough to fit a bar, 3 couches and a pool table.

Birthday girl in the white tie.

Today is peekture day! Thus, the posting of many backdated pics on fb and blog. Skyped my entire afternoon away with my bimbo. Yesterday night too. I MISS YOU LA. 85% ok?

Time passes so fast when you are NOT working. Was feeling abit ill yesterday during work. Idk if it was just psychological, cuz I really felt like the "sick" feeling was coming. Went back home and guess I skyped my sickness away. ((: Goodgood, dun wanna spend my weekend recouporating.

On a side note, my brother passed his TP today (on his 1st try). ...... He better not snatch the car from me.... tsk.

Been spending a hellotta time with the best friend these recent weeks. Alot, compared to the 6mth period that she mia-ed from me. More to come before I leave... YOU KNOW I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

R a n d o m n e s s

15 days more..... I CANT WAIT. Yours truely is turning two-one. wohooo.... I is going to be an adult, yo.

Oh btw, I HEART Lady Gaga.

My to-do list is getting longer by the day. I should stop procrastinating and actually get down to striking some of them off the list. ok, for now, 5 things I should complete before the month ends:

1. Take passport-size photo
2. Fill up and send in passport extension form
3. Collect new biometric passport
4. Apply for college
5. Make VISA

"Like salt.."

2009-04-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

Nothing like catching a good show in bed with the best friend; Vicky Christina Barcelona.

two and a half hours til.

2009-04-06T11:23:00.001+08:00

My last exam (in sg).

I think I've got fat fingers.

2009-04-06T02:13:00.005+08:00

I missed S factor today cuz my sister didnt wake me up like i asked her to.
Didn't really study today cuz i was feeling :( n moodless.
I'm tapping into some random person's wireless with my phone right now. (thanks..)
Love walking ard in my underwear..
My favourite phrase has been "so retarded".
Wait I just got dc-ed from the internet. TSK. Linksys you suck. AND AGAIN.
My aircon just vomitted a whole lotta water.
If my post doesn't go thru i,m gonna b damn pissed.

Red baby & Furry love.

2009-04-03T15:47:00.006+08:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you THOUGHT you lost somethng very very uber impotrtant and you search through garbage, under shoe racks, in between old newspapers but in no avail? Then you slump your sad ass down and wear a pout on you face, and pray. And you feel better, instantly. And that oh-so-important thing miraculously appears right under your nose. And you ask your silly self why didnt you think of looking there in the first place, would've saved you a hellota time and energy. But it's just the way it is. Maybe next time, you should just ask God to help you find it, then grab a good book, laze on a comfy couch and induldge in it til He tells you where it is. idea?

Ahh. Today's one of those i-wanna-bum-and-nobody-can-stop-me days. Perfect weather. Perfect ambience. Perfect (almost) everything. (((: AND THEN. Life smacks me back to reality. I've got an exam due at 0900 tmr which I have yet to study for. I should so start praying now. hmm. Why is there a voice in my head saying "God helps those who help themselves." (sonottrue sonotture so not true.) sigh..

Maybe I should pray for a megaultrasupercomputer kinda brain. Or the ability to know the answers to every question...

or maybe I should just pray for the discipline to sit my ass down and study.

Hello April,

2009-04-02T22:20:00.002+08:00

you're my favourite month of the year..

Studying will (hopefully) resume tmr.

2009-03-31T22:06:00.002+08:00

When you start dreaming about work, you know it's not a good sign.

And when just after 1 hour of writing notes it starts to become a struggle to keep your eyes open and you start dozing off, hoho...

Come on Jo, lets go lets go! (Go to bed that is.)

Yawns. I'm hopeless. I'm tired. I'm hopelessly tired.

eyes closed... ok now stop.

2009-03-26T20:54:00.003+08:00

Im so tired. Woke up at 5am this morning for work. Just lying in bed now, i feel like somebody's pounding on my head. Urgh. Give me a break, please..

Gotta push on for 2 final exams before i can take a breather.

(some days just doesnt scream perfect.)

Ok i am going to sleep now bye.

It's all about... the climb.

2009-03-24T17:35:00.001+08:00

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
It's always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about whats waitin on the other side
It's the climb..

And so, the saying goes....

2009-03-22T22:07:00.003+08:00

I a m t i r e d. I need to whine. It's really insane to crack your brains everyday thinking of 25 different companies to call for sponsorship. Never one good with begging, I'm on the verge of pulling out my hair and walking out of my manager-like cubicle. This sucks )): 2.25 months more. How in the freaking world am I going to survive it? seriously..... idk.

The mak-chek who wrote my saman must be blind or really hate my car. Sub a 'H' for 'K'. Then make me think my atm card was spoilt. Make me go to so many axs/sam machines. TSK. Then til now still havent pay my fine. Cuz need to call UfreakingRA tmr to ask them about the 'typo'. -.- Not like I dun wanna pay my fine ok. The govt is making it so f hard for me to be a good citizen. See la, if they send a letter to my house and my dad finds out abt the fine. I AM GOING TO PRETEND TO GO BOMB URA. (okok. JUST JOKING AH. tsk. seriously, I dun wanna go to jail just for attempted bombing thoughts that I so innocently post here in MY personal space.) You'll nv know who the bigG has got stalking the internet... waiting in the dark for someone to speak their mind. hurh. This is shitapore for you la.

ahhh... gotta sleep soon yo. i-weekly mag needs more free gifts to dangle in front of the aunties/uncles/kiasu singaporeans. HURH. I tell you. After the couple of events, my mindset of singaporeans..... tsktsk. Seriously ok. NOT humans le. Damn cheapo. AND GREEDY. woahhhhh. really, just cannot believe my eyes. -speechless- sigh... why ah why..

goodnight my loves. Tomorrow will be a better day.

red toenails and a grey candybar (:

(Hilariously) Retarded.

2009-03-19T09:20:00.001+08:00

Went for a jog, sprained a toe.
Went to eat satay, got fined.

2009-03-08T13:20:00.001+08:00

Lord, I feel so small sometimes,

In this big ol' place..

Eh, eh.

2009-03-07T03:40:00.002+08:00

There's nothing else I can say
Eh, eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way.

Stop. Go. Stop.

2009-03-06T16:54:00.001+08:00

I shouldnt have. All senses were pointing me in the other direction. And yet I chose to shake hands with the devil. So now, I'm reaping all the 'benefits' that came with the deal. A lifetime (or so) of agony in exchange for a few hours of bliss? Was it really worth it... At that point of time, that was all I wanted, all that mattered. But now, not so much..

Twlight, my light.

2009-03-04T23:31:00.005+08:00

I can fool the world, but I can never ever fool myself. I am not strong, I am not brave. I want to take the cowardly way out, too. I want to run away from everything. I want to live in my small bubble where everything is coated with rainbows and icecream. It hurts. I cant even begin to describe the aching I feel in me. So painful I cannot breathe, its suffocating me. Emotions that I thought had been locked safely away from wreaking my life, again , are working overtime. Judge me for all I care. I'm sick of expectations and rights from wrongs. I clearly see now that the world does not care for such matters. Why can't I be one of them. I'll be careful though, for I know that what goes around, comes around for sure.

能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了.

Words are all I have (left).

2009-03-01T21:30:00.004+08:00

tumblr says:
sept 27. oct 2. oct 29. oct 30. jan 22.

'I want to convince you that I will be waiting for you, and that I still do care.... '

Back to basics?

-

Tmr, I sell my soul to adulthood.

Surrender in defeat, me loyal lads.

2009-03-01T12:22:00.005+08:00

Like supersonic kinda fast.
Like in a split second/blink of an eye kinda fast.
Like over a span of nothingness kinda fast.
Like unbelieveably in shock kinda fast.
Like are you kidding me kinda fast.
Like its a bird no its a plane no its something else kinda fast.
Like swallowing without chewing kinda fast.
Like pop up msn box kinda fast.
Like taking the lift in tall buildings kinda fast.
Like dropping your ice cream kinda fast.
Like drinking water after eating something hot kinda fast.
Like blowing bubbles kinda fast.
Like oh I should get a move on too, kinda fast.

2009-02-28T03:04:00.004+08:00

Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breakin'

The risk that I'm takin'

I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

2009-02-22T16:49:00.002+08:00

it's so easy to get lost inside

a problem that seems so big at the time

it's like a river thats so wide

it swallows you whole

while you siting 'round thinking 'bout what you can't change

and worrying about all the wrong things

time's flying by

moving so fast

you better make it count 'cause you cant get it back

sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

is just a grain of sand

and what you've been up there searching for forever

is in your hands

oh when you figure out love is all that matters after all

it sure makes everything else seem so small.

randomness.

2009-02-22T02:27:00.003+08:00

I wear 5 rubber bands on my braces every night.
I have a swollen bruise on my left arm.
My left shoulder hurts like fuck.
I broke my right index finger nail.
I'm listening to M2M.
I just pasted a smelly ko-yok on my shoulder.

Everything, or nothing at all.

2009-02-19T01:55:00.004+08:00

If I said, "lets go."
Would you leave everything behind?
Or is there too much to lose...?

And I waited for the explanation that never came.

Hush, now.

2009-02-18T08:17:00.004+08:00

The hurt I feel,
it's beyond disappointment or pain.
To you it might seem,
that it's just another game.

My tears they don't flow,
my heart's all too numb.
What I wouldn't give in exchange,
to wish it all be undone.

But fate has its ways,
of playing with that,
who are stupid enough,
to want to fight back.

My ears are bleeding,
my head's out of sight.
My heart's too heavy,
to want to win this fight.

I surrender this time,
to my endless thoughts.
I give in willingly,
to these heart-wrenching knots.

What was I thinking,
to want to give it my all?
If you reap what you sow,
then why am I the one to fall?

It pains me so,
it tears me apart,
to realise and believe,
I'd had it coming from the start.

Now's what's left,
but to start picking up.
Peice by piece,
I'll glue back my heart.

numb.

2009-02-18T03:06:00.003+08:00

All along, I thought I would be the one,
so afraid that I, would hurt you.
So I guess I should thank you,
for helping me take that load off my chest.

And yet. Why am I still feeling oh-so-very-very-tired....

Yes, laugh at me. Your's truely didnt get flowers for loveday this year.

1,2,3 strikes....

2009-02-15T17:16:00.002+08:00

your out......?

@-'~--- ---~'-@

fourteen-oh-two-oh-nine pass me by in a fleeting moment. Mostly I recall glimpse of anger and frustration, a moment of fluttering happiness, then it went down hill from there again. More sadness and disappointment that was uncalled for. Much more emotion was involved, never forgotten, just not mentioned. I always thought my emotions had a mind of its own, and controlled my body like it was on auto-pilot. Never have I even tried to tame that wild side of me. But yesterday's experiment showed that one who was controlled by emotion could still scream with anger and hold back burning tears. I could only conclude that maybe the ciggs and eardrum-bursting music helped calm the nerves a little. Deep breathing does help, too.

When you've put up and forgave and given second/third chances time and again, you cant help but stop to look up and see if the finishing line is in view. Not adding into the equation that this human being (me) lacks average humanly attributes like patience and grace. hmm.... No, screw that. I personally think my patience and forgiveness has already long exceeded the 'average-humanly' limit. I'm sure we are on the same page regarding that. I've no more words or thoughts towards certain actions. I'm slowly losing the trust that was once there. I'm feeling oh-so-tired from.... this. And yet, what's tiring isnt just the actions or doings alone, it's the indescribable pull that lures me towards you, too. The fusion of the two, unbearable.

Maybe an overdose of Edward and Bella drama in the past weeks brainwashed me. Then again, maybe it's just the intense emotions that have been brewing over time. I do not know. But I know this, I love you, and its killing me. Maybe 365 days would act as a good detox....

Putting all these facts aside. The White Party @ Mimolette yesterday night was a blast. The music was good, comparing it to normal thurs nights at play. 2 major areas, the trance side and the rnb side. The inflatable make shift wrestling ring and foam erupting in a corner. Despite the inaccessibility of the place, I have to give it 2 thumbs up. Like I said, putting the drama aside. (: I thought it was just fab. It would've been better if I werent having to put up a smily happy greek goddess front, though. Ahwells, that story for another time. Made an incredible number of new acquaintances. Initially already familiar with 1/3 of the crowd, by the end of the night, I was smiling and waving and saying hi to almost every other person I'd walk pass.

Partying shall be put on hold, 2 weeks of mugging ahead. With mid-terms and project submissions in view, I'll ditch the sequin dresses and stillettos for nerdy glasses and a fully-furnished study table. ha. Always the early optimist, if you know what I mean. =/

Well, hope all had a pleasant valentines yesterday. "Everyday can be valentines' day." as per quoted from cheese.

Hey, You...

2009-02-10T12:15:00.002+08:00

And this tightness in my chest,
My heart in my throat.
The frown on my face,
Accompanied by the pout on my lip.

All because of you.

On the hunt (for food)

2009-02-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

Im darn hungry right now I can eat a cow (craving for steak) and all the cookie dough in the world (and cookies). hmmpf. Im contemplating if I should go and find food. Hmm.. On one hand I'm fucking hungry and cant get to sleep on an empty stomach even if i wanted to. On the other hand. I've alr brushed my teeth and put on 2 rubber bands and if I did eat I'll have to brush them again and put on the rubber bands. again. TSK. troublesome.

Oh. And my aircon is having a little monsoon of its own. vomitting water from the air filter thing. Like rain. tsk. Gonna have my very own tsunami in my room. how cool. -.-

aarrghhhh. ok im gonna look for food.

Crop circles in the carpet

2009-02-03T16:37:00.003+08:00

I'm am so inspired by Hide and seek - Imogen Heap. Omg. All of you should download the actual version before hearing the remix one. Especially if you need some kind of distraction, to sit my yourself to ponder and think. Its almost thereputic. ahhhhh... mmmm......

5 days. The 4 guys that fill my lonely nights and empty stomach. This is what singapore is all about man. FOOD. late night suppers and driving around aimlessly. Speeding down an empty road, feeling like ur butt is lifted from the seat. and that little skip in ur heartbeat. Almost, bliss, for a while at least. Is this considered liking to live life on the edge? hmm....

Zouk performance. Then to padang for funkamania finals. and street party after. hahaha.. woooOOoooooo!

mmm.. what you say?
mmm.. that you only meant well?

The 2 hands that never ever fail me.

Why do you hold back?

2009-01-29T15:54:00.003+08:00

Please continue to be persistant, and eventually, it will pay off.
But if you give up now, it'll be lost, for good.

One night and one more time..

2009-01-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

The supposedly bbq cum fondue on the eve of the eve of cny turned out to be..... very memorable. Anybody would remember the day after midnight when they cycled to Bottle Tree Park and have a bicycle's gear spoil along an ulu stretch of road surrounded by forest only be left there with 2 other girls (Gina & Twinie) while wayne rides leong back to get his lorry, having to fend for ourselves, who in turn decided to push/drag the spoilt bike along with the 2 other workable ones to the fishing/prawning park which was supposedly a right-turn away, never in their wildest imagination expect the spoilt bike to puncture its rear wheel in the brutal process of bring dragged along. man..... w h a t a n i g h t. [peektures are up on facebook yo!]

The revolutionary discovery of the very puny and cannot-make-it prawning pond was quite a disappointment. More like smth guppies would swim in. tsk.

Anyways, corn was deliciously yummy, the chivas-soaked chicken breasts... not so much. And the ah-ma style old skool bee hoon. mmmMmmm.... not forgetting the pool side random fruit fondue party after. ahhhhhhhh. (: What would anybody do without food.

Reunion dinner yesterday was... another disappointment. Told daddy not to leave the house so early.. but no..... we were the first ones there. and we had to wait almost 2 and a half hours before we could be seated in the restaurant and put food in our mouths. poooo! And the food wasnt that worth the wait. They had some magic performance and some sing-along songs thing, prolly to compromise for the food. (??) Ended at 11.30. Yupp, should have been called new year eve supper. Almost could count down to chinese new year's day with the relatives!

Day 1, was well spent. Woke up early. Dressed to impress. Collected ang baos. Smiled alot. Drank alot of soft drinks. Ate more new year goodies. Sugi cake, pineapple tarts, hei bi hiam, kuay pie ti. L O V E. Daddy drove. I drove abit too. When we were gonna leave the house this morning, Princey thought we were bringing him along too, so he just dashed out of the door and ran hystarical for 2 metres. Everybody had to get back into the house to lure him back before we could leave again, this time w/o him. awwww... poor thing. But we cant back for him and brought him out for a little excursion. =D How to stand the pathetic sad look on his face you tell me? I cannot tang lo!

Day 2, tmr. Like every day 2 of every cny every year. Food, food, and more food. Gonna be the chauffeur, so I better get my rest. Dont wanna swerve to another lane like some stooopid idiot driver on the phone (or he could be drunk) did on the expressway just now. If it werent for daddy sitting beside me, I would have showed him the finger. The honk just doesnt say enough, you know.

Happy new year people. Lots of lurveeeeee (AND MOOLAHSSSSS). (:

Let's play a love game..

2009-01-23T23:49:00.002+08:00

Do you want love, or you want fame? And why do I find myself all tangled up.....

3 hours of boring lecture about project management is enough to kill all the remainder brain cells in my head. And my thoughts always veering off doesnt help, too.

All ma ladies should get their bushes pruned, if you know what I mean. Feels absolutely.... smooth. mmm. (:

I'm hungry and nobody gives a shit. pooooooo..... ): hungry=angry

Makes me wanna go "cant read my, cant read my, no he cant read my poker face... "

I feel like my phone's spoilt, 3 failed msges.. anymore??

My lecturer is Mr Smith. Mr Smith caught me stoning in class today and made me answer a question. And everyone in class saw my classic shock/stone face. sexy. I should have done the Britney Spear's "opps I did it again" look. now THAT, is classic.

I'm outta nuts, literally.

Let me tell you a secret, no, better yet, I'll show you................... next month. (: Just wait and see....

soft and sutle

The Wrecker.

2009-01-22T00:57:00.004+08:00

You're not that big now are you. When all is striped away, and you're left with nothing but the air that you breathe. No facade to hide behind. Tell me, do you still feel powerful now? Can you strut down the street with your head held high, still?

I've just started school, yet again. New semester looks pretty gloomy from where I'm standing. Idk. Just gotta suck it up and push on. My application got approved by the sub-dean. *Does a little hop* When I do go over and breath in the fresh Australian air.. mm....

It gets harder to parade around with my chin toward the horizon. Yes, it does wear me out. I'm feeling a lil strain keeping the sides of my mouth lifted against gravity. Well, nobody said life was a breeze, did they. And everyday I keep a lil bit more inside.

okbye, gonna crash. Gotta walk my dog tmr morning..

I'm sorry I got you into such a mess. Dont say it, I know its me.

Anticipation

2009-01-12T20:20:00.000+08:00

My Celestine.

2009-01-12T00:28:00.004+08:00

Countdown to 2009 was held at mount faber this time. Those girls + pam, catherine and wayne. (: They had the roads closed off from 10pm onwards. So we were kinda stuck up there anticipating the boom boom. Super ultra cool we were in the middle of not 1 but 2 boom booms!! The place was not crowded at all. We took the nature trail down to harbour front mrt station. omg. so scary. like pitch dark ok. Sommore I suspect I have abit of night blindness. Can you imagine how scary it was for me. phew.... got down in one piece with the help of strangers with supermegaDAMN bright handphone torchlight. =D

Then picture #2 is of the familyy (: It was family day that day and we did a very family thing and went to east coast park to cycle and blade. Chilllllax.

Last, but soNOT the least, my belated christmas present! -BEAMS.

Have you ever had someone in your dreams for many consecutive days? Even when you're napping? And get awoken form your dream randomly at 6ish am and no matter how many times you toss and turn and flip and flop on your bed, you c a n n o t get back to sleep. And when you finally do, you see that same person in your dreams, yet again. ???? So Ive heard about dreaming in black and white, and in colour, but this? This is rediculous!

24 hours to no more repetitive haunting dreams.

In loving memory of

2009-01-07T02:36:00.003+08:00

a special girl, a close friend, someone who used to put a smile on my face everyday at school, made me look forward to attachment in EMRS. Kept me company, talked to me, gossiped with. A sweet, caring and very compassionate girl, always in the likes of people around her. A responsible, ambitious, yet very down to earth person. Always ready to lend a listening ear, ever so helpful. Putting others before herself, always our needs, before hers.

Nobody deserves to give life a pass. Nobody. I grief terribly, for the loss of such a kind, loving soul, for such a good person. She was too young, it shouldn't have been her time to go. Why does God always take the pure-hearted, we might ask. But inspite of all this sadness, I also know that she is in good Hands now, in the hands of the Father. And that eases my sorrow tremendously. In a better place, where sadness, tears, and pain; is non-existant.

Your sweet smile, and bubbly personality will always be remembered, my dear friend.

Rest in peace, Yi Rong.